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A softer approach

  Interview with “A” - Part 3 of 3 Hey all - after a little holiday break I'm back with a recap and the final installment of "A's" story (this time around).  In  Part 1  of the interview, “A” talked about their personal experiences with suffering and the search for happiness; how they became disillusioned with the idea that things like a career or love would help them feel ok.  Then, through a psychedelic ‘unity experience,’ “A” got introduced to mystical spirituality. Suddenly, finding an answer to suffering seemed possible.  In  Part 2 , “A” described realizing that “thinking things through wasn’t working,” and started to turn attention away from thoughts. For “A,” thinking is a source of mental anguish and self-obsession.  In Part 3, this last part of our conversation, “A” shares where they are now; what’s getting their attention. I hope you’ve enjoyed getting to know “A” and reading about their life.  “I don’t feel broken anymore. That fe...
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Something guiding the way

Interview with “A” - Part 2 (of 3. probably.) Before we talked, I sent “A” a list of questions. I thought they were pretty good. “A” disagreed. These types of questions require thinking, “A” said. And thinking is the enemy of happiness. #HotTake. Instead, “A” has found peace by turning away from thoughts as a lens on life. In this interview, “A” shares their thoughts (“it’s an interview, we have to talk”) on what they have found in thinking, and silence. “I’ve found that relying on thoughts to think about my life–to try to figure something out, what I should be doing–has led to misery. There’s a very strong sense that to try to find answers to anything the mind’s putting up is more suffering. Tail chasing.” “I saw that ‘thinking things through’ wasn’t working. When I stopped doing that, I saw that things worked out fine, or better than they did before. I used to get a lot of anxiety having to talk to my boss. If I had a meeting coming up, I’d think, ‘Is he gonna say this?’ ‘How will i ...
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The last house on the block

Interview with “A” - Part 1 Thank you to “A” for sharing their story.  “I think that suffering has played a big part in my life path. There’s a sense that I was always trying to figure out, ‘what’s gonna make me feel ok?’ ‘What’s gonna make me feel happy?’” “I started running through all the things most people my age were doing that were making them happy. I was going down the list and checking things off and seeing, ‘well, that’s not gonna do it.’ Becoming a doctor, an accountant, or whatever seemed to be doing it for them. And I kept seeing, ‘that’s not gonna do it.’ At the same time, I was also seeing that my mind was taking me places where I was being controlled by my mind; as opposed to being able to control and direct it .” “One of the big ones for me was being in love, finding the right person. ‘Ah, that’s gonna satisfy this deep feeling that something’s missing. That’s gonna do it.’ And then seeing that that’s not gonna do it either. And then there was a lot of hopelessness...
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The prelude

Who reads blogs anymore? I don’t. But I’m writing one because I think I have something to say. (Did you see that Andre 3000 made a flute album because he felt he had nothing to say in rap? Respect). More to the point, I started a blog because I think you have something to say: t he blog is called “Interviewing my friends'' because that’s what I plan to do. Why? Well, I’ve been facilitating a self-inquiry group and going to philosophical meetings for over six years. I love those conversations; they invite vulnerability, openness, clarity and insights about how people live life, and why. They are conversations about values, beliefs and ideals. Sometimes they drift towards cosmology or psychology, but most of the time they are rooted in the daily work of bringing ourselves to life. What we do everyday, what makes us feel alive, and what’s at stake if we don’t. There’s a James Baldwin quote that captures this combination of inspiration and harrow: “People pay for what they do, an...
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